Don’t you hate when people give you all this fluff about what they’re going to do, how they’re going to do it, and how great it’s going to be when it’s done. Then time goes by and the only proof that seems to exist of this great idea is just more talk of their idea. What happen to all the hype? There is nothing to show for all the talk he or she was so quick to utter out of their mouth – nothing but hot air! Sadly though there is a bitter reality to this situation.

Consequently, most of us fall into this scenario. And, we usually play the part of, pay attention now, the person talking about what we are going to do. Haha, it’s true; we are usually the one flapping our gums, talking about our goal and endeavors that we are going to pursue that never came into fruition.

Silence is the Key

This brings me back to something a cousin of mine have told me many times over the course of several years, but until recently I have never taken grasp of this concept within my mindset. He told me, “Don’t tell people what you are going to do. Just go out and do it, so people won’t have anything to say.”

Let me break this down. When you broadcast your intentions to others, people tend to develop expectations of you; that are derived from the information you presented to them, and on occasions their expectations may be greater than the final outcome you can initially achieve. The person(s) you told may not be directly connected in any sort of way to the goal you want attempt. But, the mere fact that you told them, now they feel connected and when you don’t deliver on your words it’s a letdown to them. So now, what do you think those same people would now think of you if you never fulfilled you statements – you’re a sack of empty promises.

People will start to consider you all talk and no substance. I’m going to use myself for an example. I am living proof of what can happen.

Many times I have expressed to my family and friends projects I am currently working on or what I intend to do, only to have never accomplish the majority of my task. Consequently, each time that my one projects never was seen through completion, there were ultimately people who would talk, and not in a good way neither. Some would say things to me directly and other would say things behind my back, but the point I’m trying to make is that people will talk.

Reverse the situation, if I never told a single person of my plans they would have never have anything to say because expectations were never formed. Additionally, when I accomplished something meaningful it would have been a complete unexpected event, and probably would have garnered some sort of praise or encouragement. But with so many failed and un-attempted personal task to spoke of throughout my life, I have some people in my life who totally think that I am all talk and no substance. And, I can only blame myself for their perception of me.

Those Few People

I’m not saying be a complete mute to your family and friends, but I am suggesting  that if you ever plan to make any major moves, try to keep your plans as private as possible and be extremely selective.

Be selective of the type of people you share your goals with. A possible, but huge, motivation killer to you and your dreams can be a person who affects you negatively; by questioning, criticizing, and doubting your every move and/or intention. I have lived with these people in my life for years, and was completely unaware of them until a book that I read a few years back opened my eyes.

I never knew what negative people were doing to my motivation before I even started with my plans. I already have a hard enough time keeping myself focused, but then to hear people say things like “You not going to do it.”, “Why would you want to do something that?”, “I’ll believe when I see it.”, are all statements that can crush a person’s will to succeed over the course of time, and I must admit it affected me as well. Everyone in this world is not the strong, motivated, and will-powered individual who will succeed at his or her every endeavor, and I’m certainly not one of those individuals. I never knew how much those statements had a negative affect on me throughout my life; they made me doubt myself many times.

However, there are people in this world who are cut from a different mold then the previously mentioned. If you have to share your goals, by all means share them with positive, motivational people; individuals who would give you unconditional support and moral encouragement. I know it can be difficult now a day to find someone like this; and form my personal experience it is especially hard to find that kind of support within the black community, however, it’s not impossible.

Positive people can be the deciding factor between an accomplishment and a failure. They may not be able to lend a helping hand, but the sheer power of them telling you that you can succeed would be tremendous. It can cause you to dig deep within yourself to finish or even get started with your goals. Why? Because, you will have the will to succeed and a dire to present this person(s), who have been encouraging you all along, with the end results of your accomplishment.

Some of my friends and family believe I am like the smartest and most intelligent person they personally know … to have never accomplished anything I said I was going to do. I personally know that I have accomplished many things within my life that I set out to do, but people tent to remember all the failures I have shared with them. It’s human nature, or should I say a it’s a mindset, that people tend to remember the bad. But over time I finally realized; that if I keep my plans to myself, I tend to save face when I don’t accomplish something I set out to do. Alternatively, sharing my goals with someone who gives me encouragement and reinforce with positive speech, gives me motivation to, not just start but, accomplish my goal(s). And, I hope you would want to do the same.

To my readers, even if it’s just one person; find that someone who will be that encouragement in your life, because it can go a long way. If you have any personal experiences or would like to share your thoughts about this subject please leave a comment below. Also, what statements have you heard or body language that you have seen that exemplifies a person who show no interest or belittle your goals.